Those Premier League Previews in one place
0It is underway, and here is the summary of a few sides’ pre-season prospects as written by NZ based fans.
Chelsea: It’s not often a club can say they’ve sold a player for £50m and have strengthened the team, but I’m confident in saying we’ve done that. We managed to somehow con PSG into thinking David Luiz, the skilled but scarily vacant centre-back, was worth that crazy amount of money.
Crystal Palace Stone cold motherless last when Tony Pulis replaced the hapless and hopeless Ian Holloway at the end of November, he engineered a remarkable turnaround to see them finish a very respectable 11th with 45 points. So, to see him leave by “mutual consent” a couple of days prior to the big kick off was also remarkable, but not in a good way.
Everton: The world cup was pretty good for Everton stars like the new (temporary) US secretary of Defence, Tim Howard, who has become a cult hero back in the US of A.
Liverpool: Liverpool is not known for being a club that signs World Class players but this could change due to the recent cash injection
Manchester City: (Waves hand around) Hey , yeah, hey, remember us? You know, the champions? Yeah we’re good thanks…..
It does feature some good trolling though: “That’s right, Liverpool had the league trophy won, the shirts printed and were halfway through their 25th rendition of ‘We’re going to win the league!’ when a funny thing happened, they still had to play Chelsea, you know, a pretty good team.”
Ah; the post David Moyes pain:
At least when Germany ruined Brazil’s party – like an uninvited guest turning up at your 21st, stealing the keg and leaving with your girlfriend, your ex and your mum – they did it mercifully quickly. Moyes had to sit through most of an agonising season, watching from the bench whilst the world watched the life drain slowly from his piercing blue eyes.
The first five games of the season are a mixed bag with away games at two of the promoted sides while also hosting Man United and Spurs. If they can nick a win from any of those, then Poyet might be enjoying Christmas on Wearside.
Sunderland What follows is a dramatic late season run to avoid relegation, and unreasonably raise expectations for the next season
Tottenham Hotspur How do you wind up with 37 central midfielders in the squad, with only one that seems any good?
And meanwhile, A NEW ZEALANDER WHO WASN’T EVEN MEANT TO BE PLAYING IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE SCORED AN EQUALISER
