Cricket polygamy

By Harbour Heather

My name is Heather, and I’ve come to this safe space to talk about something that has been deeply troubling me.

What do you do when you love two people at once?

When is it time to admit that the feelings you’ve long held for one have been usurped by another?

And if you upgrade to the newer model, do you ever really shut out the flame for the trusted favourite?

This is all part of being a sports fan. Players come and go on the field, but some stay with you forever. Sometimes multiple players stay with you forever.

It’s not news that, for me, the person who drew me to the sport, who I idolised, who I literally built an identity around (#Astlefan), was Nathan Astle. The first cut is the deepest, and jeez, what a cut shot it was. Powerful, bullet-like. I can still get thrills from watching the 222 highlights. Astle still features in many run scoring record lists 15 years after retiring.

He will always be my favourite cricketer.

But, I think it’s time to admit that Kane Williamson is my favourite cricketer.

It’s not like I just woke up this morning and suddenly felt this way. Kane has been driving his way into my heart for years. It’s always been a pleasure to watch him, and perhaps it initially started subconsciously, but over the past few seasons I’ve had a quiet moral battle within myself. Is…Is Kane my favourite cricketer…ever? Is that cheating on Nathan? Is my heart big enough for both of them?

Can one make an exception for a generational talent? Can there be two leader boards? One of the cricketing heart, and one of the cricketing brain?

You never forget your first, and my love of the game was built on obsessing over Astle, trying to emulate him in the nets. The sentiment tied to him, and the gratitude I have for unlocking the joy the cricket has given me, will be eternal. (Side note: It’s a blessing, for my own sake and that of the world, that Twitter didn’t exist during my peak Astlefan years.)

But Williamson is quite simply the best New Zealand batter I’ve had the pleasure of watching live (a lady never reveals her age, but I don’t remember Crowe). Immaculate, precise placement. You look up and he’s on 35, unruffled. Unphased. Understated. Annoyingly not sweaty. A batting machine. Every time Kane scores a hundred, I tweet “I love you, Kane Williamson.” And it’s true, I am in cricketing love with his batting, and so appreciative of all the times when he’s saved us with the bat.

He further endeared himself to me with the way he led the team’s response through the heartbreak and confusion of the 2019 World Cup “loss”, and the high of the World Test Championship win. He’s got the one liners too, winning me over with quips like “T20 is in my top three formats”. Throw on top of that the wholesome pictures of his dog, and that’s quite an alluring Cricket Tinder bio.

He’s set such a high standard for himself that we judge his form ‘slumps’ much more harshly than others. I’m sure he would want us to. And so we should, given his place in the “Big Four” of international batters. He’s so good that we can judge him by international standards, rather than ‘New Zealand’s best’ standards.

In the last two tests, he’s been a living example of the ‘class is permanent’ cliché. He’s scored pivotal centuries, in different styles, at different times. Surely I was not the only one whose anxieties were lowered earlier this week with him at the wicket at Hagley Oval? Did it not instil confidence and calm in everyone that KSW was there with his innings management, a cool head, timing. He had it all.

When a player’s innings becomes appointment viewing for you, juggling work and social schedules to watch him, it’s time to realise that perhaps what you’ve believed to be true for almost 20 years is no longer so.

It’s been a mental and emotional torment, but I have to be true to myself.

I love you, Kane Williamson.

And (to the tune of Whitney Houston) I will always love you, Nathan.

In the wise words of the Old El Paso Tacos girl:

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