France wins the 2011 RWC

BREAKING:

Sportsfreak can report that the IRB Special World Cup Review Committee has reported back that, as suspected, the penalty goal kicked by Stephen Donald in the 2011 Rugby World Cup final clearly passed outside the right-hand upright and the only course of action possible is that the 2011 Rugby World Cup be handed to France.

It has been revealed that this committee was set up immediately following the match and considered applying this verdict on the night.  However, player and official safety was considered paramount, and it was agreed that the decision should be delayed until a more appropriate time.

But the evidence is clear, as shown by this independent photo. 

French Rugby President Poisson Davril said he was thrilled with the decision, and that it was a justified reward for the great rugby the French had played throughout the tournament. 

He also promised that the William Webb Ellis Trophy will tour the country, starting with the holiday island of Hao.

New Zealand Governor General, Sir Jerry Mateparae, said last night “With great sadness I am left with no option but to strip Graham Henry of his knighthood”.  Meanwhile it is understood that Henry has left the country in the last few days; most probably heading for the South of France with some marijuana and a bottle of red wine.

Quade Cooper was unavailable for comment,

Meanwhile, a man in his late twenties, dressed in an undersized jersey, was found walking around the outskirts of Bath.  Clearly disorientated, he was heard to be muttering “Whitebait, whitebait, I should’ve stayed with the whitebait” .

And Phil Goff has called for a snap election and wants his old job back.