The Google Translate Playoff game

The FIFA Intercontinental Playoff is almost on us.  These encounters have involved Bahrain, Mexico, and now Peru; three nations with which New Zealand has had no other sporting rivalry.

So it’s a bit warming when these nations take an interest in our sports teams.  And it gets even better when they do it in another language.

From a Peruvian football site, via Google Translate, here is a well-researched and brutal assessment on the players making up the All Whites squad.  Here are the highlights.

Archers

Stefan Marinovic: The New Zealand goalkeeper stands out for his height and for his bails. At age 26 he finished the season as a starter in the Vancouver Whitecaps of MLS, although for much of the campaign he did not have much continuity. Despite his height, he has problems going out to cut the centers.

Maxime Crocombe: Everything indicates that he will be the second goalkeeper. He is 24 years old and plays in Salford City of the Conference South, the Sixth Division of England. Within the few references that are had of him, it is known that it stands out in the bilge (and not precisely because he was expelled for urinating during a match).

Defenses

Dane Ingham: Right back who played the Confederations Cup. He is the youngest of the squad with only 18 years old and plays in the Brisbane Roar of Australia. In the Confederations he was exposed for his poor defensive work. In the last friendly against Japan he was tested by left.

Andrew Durante: The most experienced and rustic defense. At 35, he plays center-half in Wellington Phoenix, the only New Zealand professional team to compete in the Australian league. It basically appeals to its strength to try to stop the attackers of the rival and often commits fouls that end in a penalty.

Deklan Wynne: A 22-year-old left-back who plays for the Vancouver Whitecaps reserve in the USL. It is not a side that offers too much security. It is not very fast and it is usually overcome with relative ease when faced by a player with features such as André Carrillo.

Frills

Bill Tuiloma: He is a central or mixed midfielder, he is 22 years old and plays in the Portland Timbers reserve, in the USL of the United States. His career has gone from more to less. He had the opportunity to debut in Ligue 1 with Marcelo Bielsa at Olympique Marseille, but he never consolidated and went through the reserve and then through Strasbourg and also through his subsidiary. He was the New Zealand figure in the 2015 U-20 World Cup. He stands out for his good shot.

Monty Patterson: The future of New Zealand and a weakness of coach Anthony Hudson, who made him debut in the national team in 2016. He is 20 years old, he is part of the first team of Ipswich Town of the Second Division of England, although he has only played a match. You can play as a forward or as a half rush. It is quite skillful, moves across the entire attack front and has a good mid distance shot.

Strikers

Rory Fallon: The 35-year-old veteran World Cup forward returns to his national team for the first time since June 2016. In the twilight of his career he burns the last cartridges in the Dorchester Town of the English Seventh Division. He does not stand out precisely because he is a scorer and it is likely that he will only be used against Peru in a situation in which Hudson needs experience to open the game.

Jeremy Brockie: 30-year-old center forward who plays for SuperSport United of South Africa. It is another that lives in the area and suffers a lot when it comes out of it. He is not exactly a goal scorer. In fact he has just one goal in 49 games with his team. This call means his return after one year out of the New Zealand national team.

Shane Smeltz: The most veteran of the team and a living legend of New Zealand football. At 36 he burns his last cartridges in the Borneo of Indonesia. It is central front, but it can also be accommodated with a second point, in this case Wood. Unlike Fallon, he is known for being a scorer.

Thanks to Andrew Voerman for spotting this.