Waltzing the All Blacks
0By The Spotter
It’s now official. We got done over like a dog’s dinner in Perth and the selectors have gotten the heebeegeebees and pressed the nuclear button.
Don’t swallow their sugar-coated press release about any pre-planning with the new picks, either- the Wallabies have suddenly got us shitting great big NZ house bricks.
The fact is, who in their right mind would want to be a top-level coach? One can feel a song coming on- set to the tune of ‘Waltzing Matilda.’ It goes like this:
ONCE A JOLLY HANSEN WAY UP IN THE COACHES BOX
UNDER THE SHADE OF A PERTH DEFEAT;
AND HE SANG AS HE SAT AND TINKERED ALL THE TEAM AROUND,
WHO’LL COME A SELECTING THE ALL BLACKS WITH ME?
(CHORUS) SELECTING THE ALL BLACKS, SELECTING THE ALL BLACKS, WHO’LL COME A SELECTING THE ALL BLACKS WITH ME?
AND HE SANG AS HE SAT AND WATCHED A RIGHT THRASHING PLAY OUT
WHO’LL COME A SELECTING THE ALL BLACKS WITH ME?
TOOK BENDER OUT FROM FULLBACK AND PLAYED HIM ON THE WING,
BUT HE SAW NO BALL AND WAS NOW HE’S OFF THE SCENE
WHO’LL COME A SELECTING THE ALL BLACKS WITH ME?
(REPEAT CHORUS)
UP JUMPED TEFLON SEVU AND GOT A SPOT ON THE RIGHT WING
YOU’RE IN SAID THE COACH, BUT ONLY HIT WALLABIES
AND HE SANG AS HE SAT AND KEPT MO’UNGA IN JERSEY 10
WHO’LL COME A SELECTING THE ALL BLACKS WITH ME?
(REPEAT CHORUS)
-Paul M (talltree@xtra.co.nz)