Wireless Tales of the Unexpected

By The Spotter

It always fortunate when you happen to tune in to something on the wireless at a really interesting time. And who doesn’t love a good laugh whenever the chance presents?

It happened at Labour weekend, when a quick listen to Radio Sport threw up some great tales of Player of the Day prizes. One guy from the East Coast (and this happening could really only be from there), told of someone receiving a cannabis tinnie as his rugby player of the day award. Bet he had a pretty mellow evening.

A few minutes later, and someone topped that even. A person they knew had won a golf long-driving competition… and been given Viagara pills. Pretty dangerous territory and it maybe only improved another type of ‘game’.

One of the funniest things I ever heard live on Radio Sport was when a huge Alsatian dog was going bark raving mad in the background while the owner was chatting to whoever was hosting- I can’t recall. About every ten seconds or so, the caller would break off their discussion to yell out “Sit down”, “Hey” or “Quiet”. The host was very soon trying to stifle fits of laughter. But didn’t really succeed. Very understandable.

On the pet line of stories (admittedly the following isn’t all that interesting), a few Christmases ago I phoned up Daniel McHardy when the Sportsfreak was alongside him in the studio. Just as I began to talk, our cat came inside, ran up and jumped up on my lap. The animal was soaking wet and I completely lost my sentence. Our moggy is a bit of an old eccentric in that he actually loves being outdoors when it’s hosing down with rain.

I recall a hilarious, but painful story years back on the old Radio Pacific show ‘Sportsline’, hosted by Tim Bickerstaff and Margaret Burke. They even had long-time TVNZer Stephen Stuart doing the racing (and was he mostly very good with his picks, too). Bickerstaff one day told the story of an unflappable news-reading journo who was never put off by anything. One day in their desperation to get the guy to lose his way on air, one of the staffers sneakily entered the cubicle from where the ice man was reading a bulletin. Whereupon some type of appendage was then placed on the desk, directly next to the news pages. Everyone watching this unfold held their collective breath, but cool as a cucumber and without even the slightest flinch, the hero calmly grabbed a rubber date stamp within reach, dabbed it on the ink pad, and sharply stamped the offending object right where it hurt. Now that’s a story and a half. Ouch!

Those things are often what makes radio more entertaining than television. It’s all about the unseen image (although in some of the above instances, it might not pay to dwell on some of the mental imagery too much)…

Thanks for reading.

You can find me at: talltree@xtra.co.nz  (paul)